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There are a lot of strange things for sale in this world of ours. You have to wonder why anyone would buy some of them, but people do. I think it might be interesting to take a look at some of these items for sale.

Lets start with an actual site that states then a mental patient is conducting an online auction. Why we must know he is a mental patient is beyond me So I went to the site to see what was for sale and this is what I saw:
A tooth crafted coffee mug - he calls them chewed art. Everything else offered was sort of non existent such as a train of thought. I sort of liked the idea of a train of thought but wondered where I would keep it if I won it?

I saw a key ring with a clear plastic fob at the end that contained a preserved roach in it. I am talking about the insect folks. Hey look at my new key ring, ugh! Everybody knows what beef jerky is, but there were vending machines that sold Emu Jerky for awhile. I say for awhile because it was not exactly a big seller. There were some sales but no where near enough to make it worthwhile. Some vending machines are now selling nose clips. I can't imagine that they would be a big seller, but they come in handy if you are with someone that doesn't smell too good. At least they don't go bad if left in the machine too long. Herbal eye pillows are another unexpected item from vending machines. Hey maw, can I borrow an herbal eye pillow, I only have one left? Some people are still buying pet rocks. Hey folks you can get rocks for free.

One auction on the Internet sold a dead frog that was propped up in a golfer stance and had a miniature golf club in his front feet and he was hitting a ball. The entire thing was so gross that it is hard to describe. Can you imagine putting this in your living room and having your friend and his wife over. Friend "Er its real nice Joe", Friend's wife, "Do they have anymore?" Yeah, sure. This ranks right up there with the Deer Butt mounted on a plaque. Why would anyone in his right mind want to put this on his wall? Hey like my new deer butt? Yeah it looks so life like.

One auction featured a bag of 'genuine' ghost poop. We know it was ghost poop because it was labeled "ghost poop". You just can't get enough of this stuff. Ebay has many strange items for sale everyday. I saw several brass items that you could look at for days on end and never know what they are or what they did, if anything. Just what everybody needs, more junk. You can actually bid on a manure fork head or a model of a manure spreader. Hey look at my new model, its a manure spreader, isn't it cool? No! Even better, you can bid on dried manure. What, you don't have any manure around the house? It time to get some folks and Ebay will be glad to let you bid on it. I don't think that your mailman or UPS agent will be too happy with your purchase, but you need that manure and you have no way of picking it up.

A famous auction featured the soul of a cat for sale. The auction house removed the item three days later and voided the bids. Shop at home catalogs feature some very strange items indeed. The Gel Toe Spreader is something that you simply can't do without, along with Toe Separators. But you may want something more, like a five speed fingertip massager. Is you dog underdressed? You can solve that problem with dog costumes. We also have tools for women. What is a tool for a woman you might ask? Simple, it is an everyday tool that is more expensive because flowers are painted on it. Is your dog not pulling his own weight? You can buy a dog backpack and really load him down. That will fix the lazy bugger. If you dog does a good job toting things you can reward him with a doggie umbrella.

Maybe you want something for yourself, you dog has enough already. How about a 3-D crash landing witch that mounts on the wall? Do you find it too hard to get your bread out of the package, you can always buy a bread dispenser. Now you will have to try and get it out of the container instead. Are you sick of your stainless steel flatware? You can easily purchase a set that has roosters on the end. I still haven't figured out how you would hold these utensils as the birds are rather large and oddly shaped.

If you want to get into shape, you could buy one of those electric shock belts. I will tell you folks, those things scare the heck out of me. They are supposed to cause your muscles to expand and contract thus causing involuntary exercise but I just can't see using them. I know I will get a lot of email on this one. I think those special pants that are supposed to let you loose weight are a real gas. Hey just turn up the heat you will accomplish the same thing.

House decorations needed? I saw a plaster statue of Ponce de Leon with a chipped nose and ear on sale, it gives it that used look. A stuffed vulture would look good in your den. There is something out there for everyone. I have seen a pile of junk that was just thrown out and taken to the flea market, fetch a good price. What is even more amazing is that some of the items were broken and even beyond repair. How do you repair a vase that is broken and has pieces missing? Why would you want it in your house? Maybe I am too particular, but if an item is broken, I don't want it. Also, none of those tacky items for me, those hula dancer lamps or owl ash trays. I won't wear the 'I am with stupid" tee shirts or the umbrella hats. I don't want any toe spreaders or tooth crafted coffee mugs. Hey, I just want normal stuff. If someone else is happy with broken or tacky stuff, good for them, that is their business. This doesn't mean that I understand it however.

So all you people out there that are happy looking at a deer butt plaque on your wall, good for you, but just don't expect me to get one unless you can convince my wife that this is some type of rare art and you can change my view of things.