Things are often invented that are very strange and many times, it is harder to use them, than not to. Lets take a look at the automatic banana peeler. First you take your banana and put in on a block of wood with a clamp and cut the top of the banana off. Next you have to connect four clamps that are attached to wires to each side of the bananas skin on top. Next you have to pull the wires to rip the skin of the banana down. I figure that it normally takes about 4 or 5 seconds to peel a banana and It looks like to me that it would take about a minute or more to use the machine. I hope the inventor doesn't expect to sell many of these.

Some of you may disagree with me on this, but I just don't need slippers with lights attached. You would probably spend more in batteries than if you left on a small night light. Do you have a baby in the house? If you do, you could buy he or she a hand shaped fleece pillow. It is said to be very comforting to infants. I guess I am old fashioned, but regular pillows and blankets seem to do the job for everyone I know. I have a question for the ladies out there. Have you ever seen a stencil that is used to paint letters on the side of a truck? In case you haven't, it is made from oak tag and has the letters cut out and you paint over the cutout and you get a perfect letter. The reason I mention this, is that there is a lips stencil for women on the market. You strap it over you mouth and jaw and the maker claims that it is much easer to put you lipstick on correctly this way.

When you see an ashtray in a home, you usually think it is ok to smoke, don't you? Well you would be wrong in this case, because there is an ashtray that senses when you are going to light up that tells you that smoking can damage your health. Hey I would rather just say no smoking please. Have you ever seen a spider fall into your tub when water was in it. Now there is an invention that is a miniature ladder that goes inside the tub so those poor spiders can climb out. Just what every home needed. One gruesome invention is a special type of birdhouse. The birds are attracted into the birdhouse, but then fall down a tube where they remain until the cat, which has a way to get in, eats the birds. How about this? An invention to help you lose weight. All you have to do is stick a tube down your nose into your stomach. The exposed end has a sort of extraction pump on it. Oh man, these things just get worse and worse.

Here is an invention that I hope never catches on. It is a pair of eyeglasses. Oh you say it has caught on already? Well I haven't finished yet, these are a LITTLE different. You know how your eyeglasses are always sliding down your nose? These don't slide. Oh you think that this is a good thing? Wait until I tell you why they don't slide. The piece that goes over each side of the bridge of you nose pierces it. Ouch! I don't think that I will be getting a pair of these anytime soon. You know that Japan is not going to let us outdo them in useless inventions, so how about this one. A large folding stand that has a padded U shaped holder on top of it. It is a chin rest that allows you to put your chin in it while standing on the subway, this allows you to lean forward and have it support your weight. Small problem, the base of the stand i about 3 feet long, meaning that it is going to be on a lot of toes in a crowded train. A small seat would have taken up less room. Tired of trying to put eye drops in those baby blues? You could get a pair of Japanese funnel glasses. This is a pair of eyeglasses that have funnels built into them for ease of eye dropping. I wonder if you can wear them outside? Here is a cool Japanese invention, a fan that straps to your chopstick so it can cool your noodles. You will also get exercise lifting the fan since the fan is about 4 inches in diameter. Tired of standing on the train, but you don't want to use the chin rest? You can get a hard hat with a plunger on the back that sticks to the train door. Don't ask me what happens when the door opens. Lastly, tired of needing a lot of tissues when you have a cold? The Japanese have a solution for you, a portable toilet paper holder that straps to the top of your head. This give you a continuous roll of paper and if you use Scotts you will get 1000 sheets.

Are these inventions wacky because they are inventions of the 20th and 21st century or have we had our share of wacky inventions through history? Well I can tell you this, there were wacky inventions around in the Victorian age. A steam railroad engine was invented that only had wheels on one side. The idea was that it would ride on one rail, which was on the ground and one rail overhead on the side without a wheel. The builders thought that this engine would be better going around curves. Sort of reminds me of a man I knew who had one leg, he said it wasn't better than two. Then there was the train that was supposed to travel on water. It had small paddle wheels where the train wheels should be. I don't know what happened, but I do know that steam engines can't float. Sometimes you wonder what the purpose of an invention is. A boat was built in the late 1800s that looked like a whale. A triple story deck was put on top and steam engines added. Seems a little awkward to me, don't you think so?

Yep, the inventions just keep rolling out. Now I ask you, what is the good of a waterproof towel? Is a solar powered flashlight any better? Am I missing something here? I guess the waterproof towel would make a good joke item, but I hardly think that it was invented for that. The U.S. military developed an ejection seat for a helicopter. Wow talk about chop meat. Are you scared of getting needles? You could ask your doctor to get in a bunny syringe. That is a needle which has a bunny figure around it. Is your tot acting up? If he is, one inventor says he has the answer. It is Junior Jail. A board with leg restraints and a device that looks like a high chair tray on rails, that is rolled up to his chest, making him immobile. It this legal? Tired of all those women trying to kiss you? You can get a kissing shield. Its a plastic shield on a stick like handle. The directions for use are easy. If you see a kiss coming, insert the shield between the oncoming lips and your face. Are wrist watches annoying you, but you have to know the time? You could get a sub dermal watch. It is implanted between the wrist and forearm. The led will shine through your skin giving you the correct time. Wow everyone should have one of these, I heard that from a plastic surgeon.

Here are a few more hot inventions. How about a nice new fork that has an alarm built in that corrects the way you eat? It does this by badgering you with phrases such as slow down and quit inhaling your food. Wouldn't it be fun to switch this fork with a friends at a restaurant. If you don't mind hanging a couple of devices on you baby and probably scaring him to death, you could get the diaper alarm. When the little tike goes, it lets you know. Speaking of babies, does yours cry too much for no reason. One inventor says he has the solution. For lack of a better word, it is a baby gag. You insert a device over the baby's mouth and it is attached over his ears. What this does is secure a pacifier into his mouth that he can not get out. Yipes! You know, we haven't talked about our best friend the dog. There is a patent out there for a device that goes around the dog's belly. Attached to the top of this is a pole. The pole has umbrella like ribs on the top and there is a plastic sheet with breathing holes that goes all around the dog. Sure why should he get wet in the rain? Your dog will love you for this.

It is only fitting to end this article talking about bananas again. For the last invention I will mention is the banana case. Traveling anywhere? Pack all your cases including your banana in a case built for one. Wow how handy.